Updated to add: The use of the term ‘single mother’ is not exactly accurate. If you screw up and get pregnant, don’t screw up even more and bring an innocent child along with you! Divorced moms who escaped abusive marriages with drug/sex/gambling/whatever addicts should not get a free pass from you, either.If you are a mother and you are collecting child support, you are not a single mother. The rest of us who have to LIVE with your fucked up, emotionally scarred children will PAY you to have a fucking abortion. Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions. You both put each other’s happiness above your own. Now divorced mothers, who are a breed of single mothers, MIGHT be a little different, but whenever you approach one, sing this little song in your head: it takes two to tango. Even if it’s TRUE that the husband was a colossal fuck-up, you need to ask yourself what kind of imperceptive moron couldn’t spot that?Ladies listen, this man did not get used to a kid screaming like you did, he was not kept up nights tending to the crying and projectile poop, he isn’t seasoned in this.Above all else, including your want for a mate is your child’s safety.Take it slow and be yourself, help out when you can, or when you’re asked, and the number one thing is to be good to their mom.Being a boyfriend who openly bombs on mom in front of the kids or being that guy breaking mom’s heart will forever lock you into asshole mode in their minds and you will never get over it.If you have good rapport with your child, have regular talks with them and they respect you, then it is important that you get their approval.
Engage the child in conversation when he/she’s around but make it natural conversation, not forced conversation.It is not your place to discipline an unruly child either, check his/her mom on that, and if it gets too much – call it a day and leave.Having to play daddy when you’re simply dating a woman is not fair to you either, so don’t ever let them lay that on you as a responsibility.You might not be the FIRST man she blames all her problems on, but you sure as hell can be NEXT. On the whole, give single and divorced mothers a pass. Little girls long for daddies as much as little boys. The children of single mothers have already been wounded so deeply by the lack of a father.
And for the love of god, if you decide to give one a spin, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD. To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel. You can’t save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more. If you ever find yourself referring to a woman whose husband died on a battlefield as a single mother, you should immediately pour Tabasco sauce into your eyes, because you deserve to weep all the tears I’m certain she has.