All these over-the-top consequences – the mockery, the social expulsion, even being jailed – are ways our brain protects us from the fear of rejection.Don’t get me wrong: the discomfort and anxiety that Aaronson and so many others feel is very real – our bodies respond to imagined fears the same way they respond to fear: getting rejected by someone we’re attracted to.The long and short of Aaronson’s comment is fairly simple: Nerds are Nice Guys (as opposed to guys who are nice) they’re unfairly maligned by society because the world is cruel and mean and unfair.Aaronson, for example, explains that Here’s the thing: I spent my formative years—basically, from the age of 12 until my mid-20s—feeling not “entitled,” not “privileged,” but terrified.Whether we’re “mouth-breathers”, “pimpled”, “scrawny”, “blubbery”, “sperglord”, “neckbeard”, “virgins”, “living in our parents’ basements”, “man-children” or whatever the insult du jour is, it’s always, always, ALWAYS a self-identified feminist saying it.Sometimes they say it obliquely, referring to a subgroup like “bronies” or “atheists” or “fedoras” while making sure everyone else in nerddom knows it’s about them too.?
It becomes about making their hurt feelings the center of the debate instead of hey, maybe people shouldn’t act this way.But the point of Schrodinger’s Rapist and other feminist writings isn’t that men are evil rapists and everything they do is unwelcome, it’s that women live in a world where sex is used against them.It’s a basic benefit of being a man – men don’t experience sexual harassment or risk sexual assault the way women do.One thing you learn quickly in the dating advice business: some topics are more or less evergreen.
And with the recent explosion on social media, it’s a good time to talk about one of my favorite topics: Nice Guys.
This is an incredibly common complaint that I hear from men, especially Nice Guys: they’re scared.